A Childhood Experience

My first experience with my own sexuality must have been around the time I started to notice that boys were no longer looking at me like I was pal. Instead of asking me to go dirt bike riding and shooting practice, they would ask me to go to the movies and hold their hands. I didn't quite understand this change in them and just went along with it for a while. That is until I was about thirteen years old and I noticed that I had a crush on my older brother's best friend who was seventeen. We will call him Roy.

Roy was handsome, tall, kind, and always made sure to pay attention to me when he came over. He held my hand a lot and I loved it. I sat in his lap when I would tag along with my brother and his friends and we would all go to the gravel pits in the truck to spin out, party, and drink illegally. I made sure that no other girl talked to him while I was around and he didn't seem to mind. My friends adored him too, which made him even more attractive to me. I thought for sure I was going to love Roy my entire life.

One night, my brother asked me if I wanted to go to the movies with them. Of course I agreed and hurried to get dressed in a skirt and button shirt. I asked my dad for some money and was out the door faster than the speed of light. Town was a little over five miles away from our country home so my brother drove. We picked up Roy on our way since he only lived a few blocks from the theater and went to the movie. I can't remember what movie was playing at the time but I do remember sitting between my brother and Roy when my brother got violently sick halfway through and went home. He made Roy promise to get me home safe.

As the movie let out Roy walked me back to his place and we were hand in hand. I didn't realize that his parents had been out of town the last few days so the house was dark. He asked me to come in and I agreed. Leading me to his room where his posters of metal bands hung from the walls I realized that I had never been in a boy's room before.

I was nervous and my hands began to sweat. What if he wanted to kiss me? What if he wanted to do more than kiss? I had no idea what I was doing; I'd never kissed anyone before. I'd seen it in the movies and on TV; I could probably figure it out. Maybe he would teach me? Would it hurt?

These questions rolled through my head one by one. I didn't care that I was only thirteen and he seventeen. All I knew is that this boy liked me and wanted me. Of all the pretty girls he knew he wanted me. He sat on his bed and I noticed he was just about as nervous as I was so I sat next to him. He took my hand again and turned me towards him. He touched my face and put a strand of my hair behind my ear. Smiling he leaned down and pressed his lips against mine.

My heart leapt from my chest and my stomach immediately did summersaults in my gut. We were kissing! I was so excited, and so scared. I didn't quite know how to stop or even if I should stop. I pushed him back onto his bed and straddled him. Our kisses became something more primal than anything I’d seen on television. Passion took over all of my senses and all I wanted was him. I raked my fingers through his hair and down his chest. He took off my shirt and bra to play with my barely there tits. Taking one into his mouth he moaned in pleasure.

“This is how it’s supposed to be,” I thought. Pleasure spiked through me and without hesitation I unbuttoned his pants and reached inside. I’d never seen an actual penis before. Sure, I’d seen one or two in some of my brother’s hidden dirty magazines filled with the naked girls but never one that was so real, so up close, so personal. I held my breath not sure what to do with it once it was out.

It stood at attention and wept for me, an urge to lick it overwhelmed me and I know I was blushing at the thought. Roy smiled gently and whispered, “Its okay. You don’t have to do anything.” He kissed me again on the neck and nipped his teeth over my ear lobe. He lifted my skirt and dipped his fingers under my panties and between the folds of my sex. As if I didn’t have a choice I wrapped my delicate fingers around him and began rubbing him ever so softly.

It felt so good to have his fingers there, working me, and me doing the same to him. I’d never felt the sensations I was feeling and I never wanted them to stop either. I moaned and kissed him again, pushing myself onto his fingers harder, pleading with him silently to keep doing what he was doing. He kept at it for awhile until finally I burst around him, soaking his hand and his pants with my juices. Without a word we both collapsed onto his bed and caught our breaths.

He drove me home after that and we didn’t say much to each other. I stared out the window wondering when we could do that again and what it was that I just did. Was I still a virgin? I had no idea. I vowed not to tell my friends about it and I never did.

In fact, this is the first time I have ever told this story. I never even got the chance to thank him for showing me what pleasure was because he shipped out the next day for the Army. He knew I needed something from him but I didn’t know how to communicate it to him. I didn’t even know I wanted it until he showed it to me. He needed something from me too but I don’t know if I was able to give it to him then. Perhaps if we knew each other today I could thank him for showing me what I needed to know. I have since compared all my boyfriends to this amazing person I knew and how he treated me.

An Innocence Lost: Chapter 1

Here's another quick story for your viewing pleasure. As always, play safe!

An Innocence Lost: Chapter 1

I could tell that he was nervous. He was an innocent. He knew what he wanted but didn’t know how to say it. It was my job to teach him. I stepped towards him with one hand raised as if he were a frightened animal. I didn’t want to scare him. He had no idea what he was about to get himself into.

I took him in my arms and he lowered his lips to mine. The kiss was gentle and it slowly built in intensity. Our tongues danced together in our mouths as we both embraced the fire that suddenly burned inside us.

His hands wrapped around my back and down my thighs as he pulled me up and over his hips. I slung my legs around his waist and jerked him close as he pinned me against the wall. I could feel his hardening shaft between my legs. The heat between us making me wish I’d worn a skirt to work today.

I wanted this. I’ve always wanted this. Since the moment I’d met him I wanted to feel him move inside me. I wanted to suck him dry and fuck him blind. Tonight was my night.

Shifting me in his arms, he lifted me higher and slid his hand down the back of my pants. One hand was squeezing my ass while the other slipped under my shirt and did the same to my breast. I was panting, and he was cursing.

His hips were between my thighs and he was grinding his body into mine. The friction of our jeans, the feel of his hands on me, and his tongue in my mouth, something was happening.

I wasn’t used to men taking control. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I was the one that had no idea what I was getting myself into. I allowed myself to soak up the love he was so eager and willing to give me. I was selfish in my desire and want, so I let him give me what I couldn’t afford to give back.

I whimpered as he tore off my shirt and took my breast in his mouth. His teeth nipped at my rising bud and I moaned in pleasure. I sunk my nails into his back as he fumbled to unbutton my pants. He jammed his hand down the front as soon as he got them open. “I got you. I fuckin’ got you. Just let it out. I wanna watch you fuckin’ cum,” he growled.

I reacted to his words like a viper would its prey. I snatched his bottom lip between my teeth and bit down. I tasted the copper that seeped into my mouth and I sucked harder. He growled again and pressed his lips against mine in a possessive lock.

His fingers slipped inside of me and my body locked up tight. My sex contracted and I imploded, pulsing through each wonderful erotic sensation.

When I opened my eyes he was staring at me with a look I’ve never seen before. It was a look of adoration, or hope, maybe? Both scared the crap out of me. Both were wrong on so many levels. Both meant more to him than they ever would to me. I was not the delicate china he wanted to hold in his hand. I was the broken dinner dish that was haphazardly tossed in the trash.

He should care about that. But he didn’t, because he didn’t, he wanted me. Me, of all the people he could ever have. His mistake was believing that he could fix whatever was broken inside of me. Still he thrust his fingers in and out of my now soaking wet sex.

Suddenly he stopped and I nearly fell to the floor. He ripped my pants from my legs in one smooth motion and tossed them aside. I ripped open the front of his jeans and pulled out his heavy cock in my hand. I gasp at its size. My finger tips couldn’t touch when I wrapped them around the shaft and worked him.

He inhaled and I bent to take him into my mouth. He stopped me just short, “no baby. I’ll never make it.”

He picked me up and crushed me against the wall again pushing himself into me. I screamed his name and clawed at his shoulders.

“Fuck. You’re so fuckin’ wet, baby” he said as he slammed into me. Over and over he sent me into a tail spin. “Tell me what you need.”

I could barely breathe let alone speak. I throbbed for him. I needed him, all of him. I wanted nothing more than to taste him, feel him; I was getting what I wanted. Not that I deserved any of what he had to give.

It was then that he came for me. I felt his hot passion spurt into me as he groaned his pleasure. His fingers dug into my hips as he pulled me closer. I kissed him, hard, my passion refueling his desire. I licked at the sweat that seeped down his neck and he moaned.

“Fuck. You have a solid hold on me now, baby. What am I supposed to do with that?” He smiled down at me.

I simply shrugged and buried my face into his shoulder. I was probably going to break him.

Bondage Virgin: Part I

If you follow me on twitter you know already that my walking, talking, sex dream of a friend wanted to read something I had written. Since most of my comings and goings are done at random or anonymously (due to copyrights I cannot post most of my articles here as you know) I decided to whip something up just special for him. He is such an innocent that I almost don't know what to do with him. I don't want to freak him out and scare him away forever but I want him to be informed of the fictional side, the hardcore side, and even the lighter sides of me. He seems to be very much interested in my life style and maybe, just maybe, with fingers crossed and velvet ropes abundant, I can show him a thing or two, but we'll get to that a little later. In the mean time. Below is the quick write up made just for him. Written from his perspective, without edits.

I couldn’t believe it was actually happening. She’d already told me what I needed to do and the guys had already told me what to expect for the most part. I knew what she did for a living. I’d heard about her throughout my years at the office. The VPs had recommended her almost as soon as I had received my promotion into the executives lounge. She only worked for a high price and she had a low tolerance for idiocy.

She was coming over in ten minutes and I was to be kneeling, naked and waiting, with my head down and palms up, resting on my thighs. She was very specific and I surely did not want to disappoint her my first time around. I could only imagine what she planned to do with me from the stories I’d heard.

Seconds after I was in position the front door burst open. I resisted the urge to look up and see what beauty stood before me. I heard the clip clop of her high heels on my hardwood flooring as she made her way over to me. Blood red stilettos came into view as she stopped directly in front of me. I held my breath, but still I did not look up.

“Good…What is your name?” she asked, barely above a whisper. Her voice was soft and licked my senses into high gear. I hesitated too long and I was punished with one of her heels pressed deep and hard into my thigh. Pain radiated up my leg and directly into my chest.

“Devon.” I breathed out quickly.

She removed her heel and I could hear her chuckling. A soft, gentle, laugh that made me long to see her face. I still did not look up. Slowly she set a bag down onto the floor and began walking around me. She studied me as one would study the fine breeding of a race horse.

“Devon, you will speak only when spoken to. You will do as I say at all times. You will climax on my command and you will say your caution word or safe word if you ever feel that I need to stop or slow down. Failure to follow these commands could result in severe punishment or injury. Is that understood?”

I did not hesitate this time. I said yes. The caution word was yellow and the safe word was red. She preferred them to other words since they were easy to remember during times of intense pain or pleasure. I hoped I didn’t have to use them.

She ordered me to stand but I still could not look at her. I kept my head down and lead her to my bedroom. I had lit some candles earlier and they were slowly dripping their wax down the headboard.

“hmmm…we will use those later I think,” she said as she tossed her bag to the side of the bed. “Sit on the edge of the bed. Feet flat on the floor, hands behind your head, eyes closed.”

I did as I was told. I was more afraid of what her punishment would be should I sneak a glance in her direction. She took a step closer and straddled me. Wrapping one arm around my neck, she took my shaft in the other and squeezed tightly. I instantly hardened. She leaned in and took the lobe of my ear between her teeth. She bit down, hard. I inhaled sharply and squeezed my eyes tighter. I knew better than to pull away.

She made her way down my neck leaving a trail of teeth marks in her wake. For every ounce of pain she gave me I was given a reward. She worked me with her hand, slowly at first then faster. Up and down, on each down stroke she caressed my balls and squeezed them closer to my body. I was breathing hard and trying to focus on not cumming all over her hand.

“There is a fine line that is traveled between pleasure and pain. I am glad you chose me to show you.” Her words filled up the space between us. “You’re built for this. Not like those flabby bastards you work for. Their punishments are much greater than yours will be this day.”

She talked so strangely but it seemed to suit her and only served to make me harder. I’d never heard any woman talk like that but I didn’t want her to stop.

Pre-cum seeped from the tip of my cock and she bent down to lick it off. I nearly exploded in her face. What would my punishment have been had I done so I wonder?

“I want you to cum. Right now,” she said as if she was reading my mind. She pushed my cock against my belly and slid her wet pussy along my rock hard shaft. She pulled me closer and sunk her teeth into my bicep. I moaned something dark from the back of my throat and did as she commanded. I was immediately rewarded with her lips on my cock, sucking me dry, and finally taking me fully in her mouth.

I no longer needed to see her face. I was under her complete control. Once I was spent she shoved me away. She pushed me face down onto the bed and tied my hands behind my lower back. She made quick work of the silken ropes that bound me and rendered me completely immobile. She placed something over my eyes and tied it in the back.

I began to panic; I’d never been so out of control before. My heart raced and sweat beaded at the back of my neck. I squirmed to free myself until suddenly a sharp pain across my ass cheeks brought me back to reality.

“You will do as I say, Devon. Stop fighting the restraints. You will only make them tighter.” And she was right. The circulation was nearly cut off to my right hand. She adjusted the knot and it loosened immediately.

She straddled me again and slid her hands up and down my back. She pressed deep, forcing me to relax. I closed my eyes behind the blindfold and breathed. I could feel myself hardening again.

“Easy, Devon,” she whispered in my ear. I shivered in anticipation. She moved off of me and slid a hand under my belly. “Ass in the air, shoulders down, turn your head to the side,” she ordered. I did as she commanded and my incentive was received as a gentle kiss.

Her lips were as soft as rose petals as she took my tongue in her mouth. She tasted like heaven and when she pulled away I whimpered.

After a moment I felt the bed move and her warm hand caressed my ass cheeks. At the same time her other hand grabbed my hardened cock. She knelt beside me as she worked my cock into submission again. Slowly she slipped a finger between my cheeks and rubbed the opening she found there.

I was holding my breath. Hoping she wasn’t about to do what I thought she was going to. She waited, patiently, while I came to grips with my new reality. My cock was still hard in her hand as she steadily brought me to climax again. In my distraction she slipped one, two, and three, of her long fingers into my anus and began working them around slowly. I bit my cheek to keep from crying out. She found the spot she was looking for in an instant. Pleasure built in my gut and she ordered it from me as each second passed.

She squeezed my cock in her iron grip and worked my ass. I could barely breathe. Sweat poured from my skin while I tried to hold back. She had not given me the command to cum. What would she do if I did?

Suddenly she stopped. I choked on my tongue; I was expecting that she would allow me to cum like she did the first time. She repositioned herself and kneeled behind me. My cock throbbed, begging for its release.

“Put this in your mouth,” she ordered. I opened wide and she slid a cool plastic toy into my mouth. It was cone shaped and round at the tip which got wider as she pushed it deep into my throat. I immediately knew what she wanted to do with the butt plug and my heart skipped a beat in anticipation.

She slowly slid it into my ass and waited for me to adjust to the new sensation. I shoved my face into the bedding and bit down. I wanted to scream. The intensity of every flex, every move, was enough to send me over the edge. Why wouldn’t she just let me cum?

Long Time No See

There's the understatement of the year.

While I have no legitimate excuses for not dropping a note here and there, I do have a reason for my lack of sensitivity for readers. I have neglected my blog for this long because I have been working on "A Little Bit Strange," a BDSM novel. It, of course, requires copious amounts of research that I had to pursue. I was a willing participant in most of the acts labeled in the novel so I could get it just right. Others I was just a viewer, you may notice the differences when you read the book. Or you might not, either way.

I have never been one to just write what I thought would happen in situations. Generally, I have to live those situations myself to know how an educated human being would act. I watch others in the same situations to see how they react and then finally mesh it all together for my fictional characters.

In any event, I am now back and will be posting more often than once a millennium. You can always contact me at my email or via twitter @EroticSonia.