I finally got the opportunity to interview my mentor and favorite dominant, on my own turf. Which meant my rules. Lucky for him I was all business this time! Too bad for me. Dom is obviously not his real name per his request I have agreed not to include it.
Dom is all man. Pitch black hair, blue eyes, muscles every where, and personality to boot. He looks like he just came back from a session with one of his subs (submissive). His hair is messy and his eyes are sparkling, like he could go for more. He's wearing nothing but a pair of flip-flops, jeans, and a black tee shirt. I'm trying not to drool mind you! He's the kind of guy that can make you laugh in one second then turn you on faster than you can blink.Whew...
(He was extremely nervous about talking with me, he avoids eye contact almost the whole interview. Not the actions of the Dom I know, then again, we've never done this much talking before.)
Me: Hi Dom. I'm glad you decided to come for this interview. Are you nervous?
Dom: Not really...okay maybe a little. *He laughs*
Me: Have a seat, want a drink?
Dom: Just water. Had a bit of a workout before coming.
(I knew it!)
Me: How was it?
Dom: *He just gives me a sideways grin*
Me: Yeah, stupid question. Is it hot in here?
Dom: No. *More fucking grinning*
(For the record, it was over 75 degrees in my house for some strange reason. I'm just saying.)
Me: Well, let's get started then. Tell me, what got you started in domination?
Dom: *Laughs* I went to a party with an old girl friend who liked the seriously kinky shit. I didn't ask a lot of questions back then, I was getting laid so it didn't really matter to me how I was doing it.
Me: Did someone teach you?
Dom: Yes, just like I'm teaching you. I had an amazing teacher. She taught me everything I needed to know, how to cause pleasure, not pain, how to listen to body language.
Me: How long have you been a dominant?
Dom: Geeze, around fifteen years.
Me: A therapist friend of mine says domination is an act of sex addiction; do you think this is true?
Dom: No, not at all. Addiction is merely the uncontrollable compulsive need for something. Domination is not something that is uncontrollable or compulsive, at least not on my part. It's a lifestyle, it has to be planned, orchestrated, followed through.
Me: Have you ever tried being a sub?
Dom: Yeah. Many times. It's a matter of trust. If I trust that person, if I know they won't hurt me, then I can easily switch roles. I just prefer being dominant.
Me: Why?
Dom: Because then I have the control. *For the first time he makes eye contact with me and holds it* I get to decide the course of action, who gets the pleasure.
Me: Who does get the pleasure? (Am I blushing?)
Dom: *Again with the grinning* that depends on who I'm with.
Me: (Moving on...you're working Sonia) Have you ever hurt someone?
Dom: Physically? No. I have strict rules of pain and pleasure limits. I'm sure you've heard of "safe" words. *Dom does air quotes around the word safe*
Me: Yes of course, but what if the sub didn't tell you they were in pain?
Dom: That's where the training comes in. You have to listen to what their body is telling you, Sonia. You can't just go in there and tie someone up and beat them for no other reason than to feel your own pleasure. If you do that then you can really hurt someone. You've crossed that barrier and it's over at that point, you're done. No subs will ever trust you again.
(I feel like I'm getting a training lesson)
Me: How about emotional pain, have you ever hurt someone that way?
Dom: That's a whole new level of fucked up. Yeah, I've broken some hearts. Some subs can get really attached to their Dom and the other way around. It's a fact of life in our world.
Me: What about you?
Dom: Have I been attached to someone? *He contemplates this one for a long time* Yeah, I mean...I've always bonded very closely with my girls. I've just learned how to control certain emotions now. Shit...I almost married [name removed] a few years back.
Me: What happened?
Dom: She didn't want that sort of life yet, experimentation on her part I guess. *He shrugs*
Me: Are all your subs females?
Dom: Now they are, yes. I didn't have a preference when I was younger but now I find that women are much better subs. They take instruction very well and learn from their mistakes, unlike some of their male counterparts.
Me: Any advice for someone who is curious or new to the erotic world like me?
Dom: Figure out which personality type you are. You're a very good Dom and you listen well, others might be better at taking instruction. Find out what you can handle and what you can't, basically know your limits and learn from everyone who is willing to teach you.
Me: Thanks Dom. I think that's all I need for now.
Dom: You sure about that? *Fucking smiling now*
(He's doing this on purpose, fucking tease)
Me: Yes. Now get out.
Dom: That's my girl.
End of Interview.
